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Men are raised with a strong emphasis on being effective at tasks. Now give us our due! So much of what we do is so impressive and irreplaceable.

Unknown to us as we are being raised, there is a separate process lain out for young women. They are groomed to be equally effective at many noteworthy tasks. But, here's the kicker: young women are generally raised in a manner that allows and even encourages them to honor their inner emotional process of feelings and needs. They are given strong permission to have close girlfriends and to develop deep friendships.

So, here's the tragedy. When the young man and woman arrive at the altar, they enter marriage, with a prerequisite of equal skillfulness at working with needs and feelings. Built into the arrangement is the requirement that they have the ability to communicate and to negotiate the expectable differences that always come up. Whammo! The male hits a wall! All of a sudden, he's supposed to have a working partnership with his wife who is usually light years ahead of him in relationship awareness, communication ability and contact with her feelings. Far too often, men develop counterproductive habits to avoid dealing with what seems like an overwhelming challenge.

Men who take on the project of getting their relationship and communication life on track, will have life's richest reward. Women want this for us. We should want it too. Start this process now. To quote Bob Dylan, "He who is not busy being born is busy dying'.


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